DALLAS – Skip Bayless, who I’ve known personally for more than 30 years, lingers on as a well-paid sports-world circus geek, a repugnant presence willing to do and say anything this side of chewing the bloody heads off live animals in order to steal your wallet.
And he’s done it again, this time assessing the youthful perennial MVP candidate Luka Doncic as being “overrated,” a “triple … liability,” a “sorry shooter” and “not a superstar by any stretch of the imagination .”
This is so ridiculous on every level – especially because it oozes from the mouth of a media person who is best-associated with basketball via his lie about being an all-state-caliber high school star who was “big for my age and just naturally athletic. … I was convinced I was going to play something professionally …”
Oh, he “plays something professionally,” alright. He plays the role of “expert analyst” when he is simply a contrarian with man.
In fact, of course, Bayless was not a sports star. He was n’t even “big for his age. ” He finally made his varsity high school team as a senior and sat the bench, averaging but 1.4 points per game.
“All that Pistol Pete stuff,” Jalen Rose said to his face on live TV, regarding Bayless’ claim he was a good shooter. “(But you’re) ‘Water Pistol Pete Junior.”
“Aren’t you just giving his attention he craves?” goes the question.
And my answer: The way to identify a cockroach is to shine a light on it.
I don’t really need to rattle off for DallasBasketball.com readers the credentials of Luka Doncic, who is at this moment ripe for moronic criticism because his Dallas Mavericks team is getting swamped by the Suns in the NBA Playoffs. But it might be instructive to point out that in this series, Doncic, 23, is in this series averaging 40 points per game and has playoff career averages of 33.5 points, 9.1 rebounds and 8.7 assists while shooting 49.5 percent overall and 39.2 from deep.
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It is a safe bet that Bayless is unaware of all of this, a safe bet that he doesn’t actually watch Doncic or the Mavs at all. But that’s his bit, Bayless at his lowest: “The Human Hemorrhoid” striking again by faking his way through some queer “expertise” about a player and a sport he knows nothing about – but knowing that doing so when it comes to the Dallas Cowboys or LeBron James, or now, Luka, will provide him an easy and “controversial” segment.
Bayless was once upon a time a talented-enough writer. But while in Dallas in the early 1990’s, he did not just sell his journalistic soul from him to the Devil-he opened up a business partnership in Hell.
He wrote a book that trashed and mocked the iconic Tom Landry’s Christian faith.
He wrote another book that was ostensibly about the “inside” of the Cowboys but was not granted an interview with coach Jimmy Johnson, who knew a con artist when he smelled one.
And then, his writing career out of steam, he sold his publisher on one last money-maker: “What if I write a book that subtly suggests that three-time Super Bowl-winning QB Troy Aikman is gay?”
The truth was immaterial. Bayless’ rent got paid. And he reinvented himself as a former journalist who now makes a living as a peddler of outraged contrarian bullshit. And the real victims here aren’t Luka Doncic and the other accomplished sports figures onto whom he leaks.
The victims of Skip Bayless’ pitiful game are his viewers.
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